The FG Archives

Archive for the ‘Essays’ Category

Posted on September 4, 2012 - by Fikriyyah George

I’m a Wannabe

I have an affinity for Jamaican men. I have an affinity for Haitian men. I have an affinity for West Indian men.

I once dated a man whose Jamaican accent was so thick I couldn’t understand what he was saying if we hadn’t talked in a while. In these men, in their patois I feel closer to my people.

I’m West Indian.  Well…. not completely. My father’s parents hail from the smaller of the sister islands of Antigua and Barbuda which I always confused for Bermuda when I was younger. They came here a long time ago, as in the beginning of the last century.

I grew up in many areas of Brooklyn, always surrounded by West Indians whether it be Bed-Stuy, Clinton Hill, Fort Greene, or Brownsville. Whether they had an accent or not it was more likely than not that if they didn’t their parents did. In my own self induced only child lonely child haze I  didn’t realize this then. I know it now.

I heard the music, the pride in their voices and I felt a ways not always knowing what they said or why they said it.

In that void I’ve become a wannabe. As in I wanna be closer to my heritage. I want to be in touch with my people. I wanna know what it was like for my grandmother as she set foot in New York by way of Canada.

I wanna know what it was like in Barbuda the year before she came to the US.

I wanna know if she grabbed the only other light skinned person on an island full of brown and browner faces.

I wanna know if she danced in the dancehalls. (Did they call them dancehalls then?) I wonder if she liked to dance like me, or if she liked to stay at home, like me.

I wanna know why she didn’t teach her own son not to throw out the fish head, it’s the best part of the fish.

I wanna know more about West Indian cooking than to not throw out the fish head. Once I chop it off I wouldn’t know what to do with it.

I wanna know what it feels like to know that they are proud of me.

I’m not afraid to say I’m a huge wannabe.

Originally posted 2011-07-04 16:05:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Posted on September 4, 2012 - by Fikriyyah George

We Are a Part of Society

 

Sometimes we forget that we are a part of society. We sometimes feel like a grain of sand in a beach, too small to make a difference. We’ll cite the media, government, but you know who else comprises of society? You, me and the neighbors; together we make up society. Instead of feeling like we are too small and can’t make a difference we should owe up to the power we do have.

We aren’t the ones in charge of the new fall programming at MTV or BET, true, but we are not as powerless as we think. We can tell our daughters, nieces, and nephews how beautiful they are and know that our words have just as much effect, if not more, than the girls on the videos.

Originally posted 2012-02-06 23:52:26. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Posted on September 4, 2012 - by Fikriyyah George

Self-Help is Connecting and Creating

There is a lot of personal development blogs and articles out there. Make your dreams come true, follow your passion! “You Can Do It!” All these messages to deprogram our brains from saying “I can’t.” There’s a whole lot of competition because there’s a big need. In business, a market that has no competition, has no customers. So there’s a lot of people who aren’t happy, and that’s too many IMO.

There are some people who have never cracked open a self help book. Are their lives any happier than those who do seek out this genre? I don’t think so. Everybody needs a boost. Whether they get it from a friend, or a book, or both is a personal choice.

So while I don’t believe people who do not consume self-help literature are happier, I do believe they cope differently. And (almost) everyone has cracked open a book but it wasn’t called a self help book. It could have been a book on careers or how to fix a drawer.

Every non-fiction is a book of self-improvement. We are all looking for ways to live better lives. A book on how to make furniture is solving a problem. It’s not personal per say, but it helps nonetheless. That desk they built will be used for what? Start his own business?

We are all looking for extensions of ourselves, a better extension of ourselves. We see ourselves reflected in the actions we take, the things we buy, and why we buy them.

As we try to connect to ourselves we are also in the process of connecting with others.

A product bought in a store didn’t come about in a vacuum. Many hands, and heads collaborated together to make it come to life. We are buying ideas come to life everyday. Before it was actual, it was actually an idea.

Originally posted 2010-11-03 19:21:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Posted on September 4, 2012 - by Fikriyyah George

Review of Fox’s New Show Allen Gregory

Allen Gregory is a new show that premiered on the Fox Network two weeks ago. It features the voice talents of Jonah Hill as the self titled protagonist and French Stewart from one of my favorite 90′s sitcoms “3rd Rock from the Sun” as his gay father, Richard Delongpre. (I would go into the other characters-the father’s life partner, Jeremy and their daughter, Allen’s sister, but they’re only there as props to the narcissistic father and son.)

The crux in which the cartoon is based on- an overly sophisticated seven year old is too out of place rendering the humour non existent.

There’s comedy in alienation, but it’s hard not to flinch at the sheer awkwardness of the title character. Usually the greater the awkwardness the greater the release when the punchline comes rolling in. But, alas there’s never a punchline great enough to justify or erase the tensions leading up to it in “Allen Gregory.”

The father was downright repugnant. (Does he even like his children?) The way in which he treats his partner was verbal abuse. Getting a laugh out of a repugnant character requires something special. Abuse on shows like “Family Guy” are quick and cruel and quickly glossed over with a cut to another scene. Characters who are bleeding to death and presumably dead in one scene are completely whole again in the next- no harm, no foul. Richard’s abuse is prolonged with no end in sight. Again no punchline on this show has as of yet alleviated the bad mojo of listening to a man berate his life partner.

The crush on the principal was way too extreme although providing fodder for the funniest joke the night. At the end of a daydream sequence he and the object of his affection are about to do the mattress mambo. Half naked he asks her the state of her affairs down there to which she replied “I’m going to level with you it’s Hurricane Katrina down there.” My roommate couldn’t stop laughing and repeated it several times- a hallmark of a good joke is when you want to hear it again and again. It was the only time I even felt like cracking a smile because the narcissistic father ruined everything for me.

While juxtaposition of different and altogether opposite elements (the overly pretentiousness seven year old Allen Gregory having a crush on a wizened principal) is a comedy staple the writer’s forgot finesse and applied it to too haphazardly and with a heavy hand.

As a fan of the burgeoning genre of adult, smart witted, but crude, and politically incorrect cartoons such as “Family Guy” and FX’s most recent gem “Archer” “Allen Gregory” means to keep up, but so far is lagging behind it’s predecessors.

Note: This was originally posted on Google Plus. You can add me as well while you’re on there.

Originally posted 2011-11-09 17:43:57. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Posted on September 4, 2012 - by Fikriyyah George

As a Light Skinned Black Girl I’m Not Judging You

I recently visited my cousin in the hood. On the walk from the train station a dude walking with a woman told me he liked my sweater. I said thank you. She proceeded to remark that I sounded mad stank. He ain’t trying to holla at me, she’s his girlfriend she remarked. I turned around to look at her and said ok. I turned around because I wanted to make sure that she felt heard ‘cause apparently she took my first ok to heart.

I don’t know how a mere thank you from a stranger about a rather plain looking sweater should be received, but apparently she thought I was stank with it. And I knew it had nothing to do with what I said, but how I looked- I’m light skinned. And with being light skinned you are automatically pegged a couple of things-Stank, bourgeoisie, bitch just to name a few. 

Not only am I light-skinned but I wear glasses, I give off a nerdy, sometimes bookish vibe and can be terse and short to the point. I know I don’t radiate warmth, and friendliness on first impressions and all these things she put together about me she interpreted as stank. It upset  me because I’ve encountered this my whole life. I ain’t hood, and I’ve been getting flack for not being hood all my life. 

I’m kinda tired of getting called bourgeoisie just ’cause I’m light skinned. Just ’cause I don’t play dice on the corner I don’t think I’m better than you. I don’t live my life on the streets because I want more of myself. I’m not better than you, but I do think my life purpose is not to be in the streets.

If you catch me shaking my head it’s not because I think you’re low by nature. I shake my head because you keep yourself low when you could be more. We can be so much more, yet we chose to fight for trinkets and call them treasures. And that is the difference. MY conviction in myself is not YOUR condemnation.

I may be light skinned, mixed looking, talk properly, but I know what roaches look like, I know what gunshots sound like, but that doesn’t mean I won’t amount to nothing. And just because I’ll make it out the ghettos I ain’t going to do it because I’m light skinned.
I’m not beautiful because I’m light skinned.
I’m not smart because I’m light skinned.
I’m smart, and beautiful because I am.

I’m convinced that it’s not about me, but them.
One too many person told them they weren’t good enough because they were dark skinned.
One too many people told them they were nothing unless they had a man.
One too many told them they weren’t beautiful unless they were skinny.
One too many people told them they weren’t worthy of love unless they were beautiful.

Let me be one of the many people who say that you are enough as you are. And with that you could be so much more.

Originally posted 2011-05-11 04:14:18. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Posted on September 4, 2012 - by Fikriyyah George

The Reason We’re Washed Up at Thirty

I was 23 years old and had hit just over $60,000/year. – Laura Roeder, Social Media Marketing Expert, source

Mark Zuckerberg founder of Facebook, is 26 and net worth is $13.5 billion- source

Willow and Jaden Smith anyone? They’re 10 and 12, respectively and have been in movies and singing chart topping songs.

Jawed Karim, Chad Hurley, Steve Chen sold YouTube when they were 27, 28 and 29.

The Wendy Williams Show featured an 11-year-old with her own hair product line.

Oprah regularly featured young prodigies as young as 2 on her show doing things even as adults we can’t do well.

Don’t even get me started on the teenage celebrities featured on MTV’s Cribs. (Fuck this futon from Futon Wholesale! I want a Jacuzzi tube in my bedroom!)

A recent article on AOL Small Business was headlined “Meet the 10-Year-Old CEO of a $500,000 Family Business”

 

We see these examples often enough to forget that the only reason these youngsters get such press is because of how rare this happens. It’s hard enough for a grown person to run a business, have a honed talent, but a child no bigger than your kid brother?

When you see Little CiCi singing her heart out doing something she passionately loves with half the time on Earth than you’ve had you look at your Ikea furniture and wonder what the hell you did wrong. Where’s your passion that will bring you millions if not a little attention?

I talk about personal relationships because they have such a power over how we feel. Reading some blogs it became obvious to me just how perplexed and distressed a lot of people were getting about not living their ideal lives. Even claiming that they were finished and not even 21! This is ridiculous. This is the Quarter Life Crisis in overdrive.

I can never emphasize enough how damaging comparing our lives to other people can be. I liked Mr. Flaky because of his passion and ambition. It helps that he knew what his life purpose was, and that it just happens to not just be extremely society approved (finances), but have a clear job track. Me? I want to write about polyamory, the other woman, taking responsibilities for your life, cheating, infidelity and sex. The difference in mainstream acceptance is staggering.

I chose a profession that is notoriously hard to break into. It’s not uncommon to grind for years and years before you get your big break. Writing and finances? The arts versus accounting? These are two different beasts.

Yet, it can be encouraging to compare yourself to others. I felt like a failure for a long time until I realized a lot of my peers were having the same trouble getting their feet on the ground. In this case knowing others were in the same situation removed a huge burden off of me.

And what burden would that be? The one where we have to achieve our goals NOW. Not now, but NOW.

The Death of Patience

With the acceleration of technology everything seems instant. In the early 90’s we saw young people building companies, selling them to bigger companies in highly publicized buyouts, or initial public offerings and getting rich. We’ve seen tech founders retire in their twenties.

Instant messaging, computers going from gargantuan to itty bitty. Has anybody else noticed how quickly DVD’s are coming out? It seems like just yesterday that movie was in theatres. The level in which technology is manifesting is extremely quick.

Everything starts out as just an idea, but nowhere is that more apparent than in the technological world. All of technology started as ideas. And with every product, upgrade, version 2.0 and success story comes with it the manifestation of their ideas. There’s less of a lag time between newer and better and we’re becoming impatient for not just new technology but in other areas of our lives.

We add these experiences to our subconscious and compare them to well, ourselves. Even though we’re not IPhone apps or the newest gaming system we still compete because those things which were once ideas influence our own ideas. And as we know our ideas create our lives.

And what we always forget is that many of these technological leaps took years if not decades to become real. The quicker ones come out because its creators, its team have gone through many failures. They’ve gone through so many of them they can’t do anything but succeed. After a while you get a feel for what success feels like and can replicate it easier. And with success comes more success.

Our Lives Are Not Over

I asked my 70-year-old father what age he would want to be again. You know what he said? 45. 45. My father thinks that 45 was a good age to be. Many of us are how many years far from 45?

God willing we have a lot of life left in us yet. Our lives aren’t over at thirty. Our lives aren’t over at 40. Most likely they won’t even be over at 70 just like my dad.

Our lives aren’t “over” until we take our last breath.

If you think your life is over at 30 would you bother to do anything remarkable? No. But if you thought it was never too late to begin something wonderful oh the things you could accomplish.

 

Related Links:

The Skinny Black Girl: The Girl Formerly Known As Ambitious

Clutch Mag Online: Lost In the Grind

This is a repost from Daughter of Omi’s Blog

Originally posted 2011-04-12 23:31:47. Republished by Blog Post Promoter